Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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