I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
