she was so not down for the gang bang
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
