I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize