i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
