We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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