I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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