no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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