If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Operation Purity has been aborted
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
