No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
