Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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