If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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