Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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