Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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