white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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