I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
