Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
