3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
