I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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