He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
