you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
