woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
