It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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