Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
