there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
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