was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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