so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
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Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
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He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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