Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
