Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize