You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize