i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
