Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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