Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
