Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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