watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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