Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
