they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
