He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
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there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
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The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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