fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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