i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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