His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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