just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
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i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
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And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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