420 ftw
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
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