I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize