I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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