and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
