Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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