My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
