i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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