Cold hands, warm shart.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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