rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
