I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize