oh god the rape fog is back!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
