He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
