Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think your dad took our porno
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
