I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
