Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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