So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
