I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
