he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
