"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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