good thing vaginas are great cup holders
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
